Recipes & Cooking

Shrinking Myself

I originally posted my story very early on in my blogging “career”, and after reading dozens more inspiring posts, I made the decision that my story deserves its own page. I’ll update here and there, particularly at weight loss milestones.

I’ve often alluded to the fact that I’m on Weight Watchers and that I’ve lost 50 lbs so far on it… but I thought it was time to really tell you all my story. So many of you have shared your struggles with eating disorders, and it never ceases to amaze me the amount of strength and success you’ve all had… so here goes…

I was born small, 5 lbs 7 ounces to be exact, and I was a full-term healthy baby.

Just days old...

Just days old...

I always loved food, and was always adventurous in my tastes. I can remember being about 7 years old on a road trip and going to a nice restaurant. My sister at 4 ordered macaroni and cheese. I ordered a filet mignon, medium rare, and roasted vegetables. We always got to choose our birthday dinner, and my mom would make whatever it was we chose. For my 8th birthday, what did I choose? Steamed Asian sesame whitefish with sauteed spinach.

I distinctly remember the first time I tried to lose weight: I was 16, weighed 155 and desperately wanted to weigh 140, so I joined Weight Watchers. I lost 6 pounds and got bored. I stayed within the 155-160 range all through high school, and I remember always feeling “HUGE” compared to my friends. Looking back at pictures, I realize I was not “huge” but rather, healthy.

Senior Picture 1998

Senior Picture 1998

I went to college at Bradley University, and discovered the wonder that was midnight pizza delivery, $.99 baskets of fried things at the bars, and student discounts at all the local restaurants. Before I knew it, I was 190 lbs and wearing a size 16…

Fast forward… I met Adam December 17, 2004. I was 24, in my 2nd year teaching on the south side of Chicago, and was living in this ridiculously small apartment with a joke of a kitchen. I used that small kitchen as an excuse to eat out for nearly every meal. Adam and I would order in or go out each and every time we’d get together, and soon, our “dates” were from Friday evening until Monday morning. Once I got comfortable in our relationship, about 6 months in, I completely stopped “watching it” when it came to what I ate. Breakfasts were fast food, snacks were McDonalds hamburgers, dinners were stuffed pizzas… A friend sent me pictures from the summer, and while I didn’t like what I saw, I didn’t do anything about it.

Hawaiian Day at camp, 2005

Hawaiian Day at camp, 2005

Posing for a group shot, summer 2005

Posing for a group shot, summer 2005

Next thing I knew, students were asking me when I was due, and my family was whispering behind my back. My mom said something to me around January and suggested I do something. It was right around then that I got these pictures back from being in my friend’s wedding.

At the rehearsal dinner

At the rehearsal dinner

Adam and I at the wedding reception

Adam and I at the wedding reception

Fast forward to March, 2006. One of my best friends (the one whose wedding pictures I posted, actually) told me about this new program that Weight Watchers had that didn’t involve counting Points® and I was intrigued. The very next Saturday at 11:30 a.m. I joined and started following the Core plan.

The Monday after joining WW

The Monday after joining WW

The weight started melting off once I stopped eating crap and started eating real, wholesome, and healthy foods. I lost my first 50 lbs within 7 months and then got stuck. The 2006-2007 school year was one of the worst years of my life… my grandma got sick and passed away, Adam got laid off due to working in the sub-prime mortgage industry, and then my position at my school got eliminated. I started a new job last fall (2007), and am finally comfortable in my new position. I’m hoping that blogging, job security, and getting married will kick me back into losing weight mode again… Here are some more recent pictures, just to show you all my progress, and to remind myself that, though I’m stuck, I’ve still lost 50 pounds!

Me and my BFF Lizz

Me and my BFF Lizz

At a wedding, Sept. 2007

At a wedding, Sept. 2007

RIGHT after we got engaged!

RIGHT after we got engaged!

With my mom at a Cubs game

With my mom at a Cubs game

With my friend Ericka in Oregon

With my friend Ericka in Oregon

Our official engagement photo!

Our official engagement photo!

With the stress of wedding planning came a pause in the healthy eating. I started going for convenience over nutrition, and I swear I’m the only bride who GAINED weight before her wedding. As of now, I’m about 15 pounds heavier than I was when I started blogging, and about 25 heavier than my recent low. Our wedding was the happiest day of my life, hands down!

My weight had absolutely nothing to do with how wonderful the day was, nor anything with how our married life has been so far! I’m focusing on eating when I’m hungry, stopping when I’m satisfied, and making the right decisions food-wise… if I happen to lose weight in the process, great!

That’s my story so far… key words there being so far. I’m a work in progress and constantly working on making myself healthier.

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{ 67 comments… read them below or add one }

Toni November 21, 2010 at 5:42 PM

Hey there! You’re story sounds pretty much just like mine! Thanks for sharing! xoxo

Reply

Valerie from Love and Running November 24, 2010 at 9:07 PM

Thanks for sharing your story! It’s so nice to see “real” people in the blog world!!!! I absolutely adore your blog. You are a gorgeous girl! Keep up all the hard work! I love your thinking; eating when you’re hungry and making wise food decisions! Love it :)

Reply

Julie Anne Rhodes December 4, 2010 at 9:37 PM

I heart your honesty, I heart your courage, I heart your healthy attitude towards losing weight, and I heart you. So happy to have found you my cyber friend.

Reply

Kristina (life as kristina) December 22, 2010 at 9:30 PM

I love your honesty and bravery. This is a great post and
so inspirational. You have come so far, I look forward to checking
back often to hear more about your journey.

Reply

Tara January 13, 2011 at 11:47 AM

You made a beautiful bride .

Reply

shelly February 1, 2011 at 10:37 AM

Thanks so much for sharing. I just happened upon your site, I’m quite sure for a reason. I think you look really great. It gives me hope to see just what -50ish pounds looks.

Reply

Janet February 4, 2011 at 4:52 PM

Your Beautiful at every size ! Inside and out ! I know how you feel. I was born 6lbs. was thin until around age 11 (when I got all my hormones with my period I began to gain/ later I learned I have a thryroid problem but my entire family teased me constantly) I was 4’6″ and weighed 125lbs. I went on Weight Watchers I dropped to 109lbs and I am lucky I have been there ever since minus three pregnancies and right after each baby I went right back. I am now 50 I still weigh only 105lbs and I am a size 2 everyone thinks I am perfect in size / truth be told I am sick and have been for years. I can’t gain and recently I have been loosing and know one realizes it is because I am really sick. They all joke about me being a perfect size 2 . Being this thin is awful to everyone only loves you for the way you look. Being healthy is the only way to be.
I have made myself sick by years of not eatting etc. I hope that your healthy approach to food makes you for a very long healthy life.

YOU ARE BEAUTIUFL!

Reply

Linda February 7, 2011 at 4:07 PM

You are such a great person! I was telling Larry how many things we have in common…BUT…
This DOES NOT include a love affair with the new points plus! I checked it out, and though I eat uberhealthy, each food I calculated was more points under the new system (Cliff Bar, Almonds, whole wheat sandwich thins) and I was not even given one more point under the new system!
Help me! Am I figuring it out right – you know I’m bad with numbers! ;)

Reply

Kelli February 8, 2011 at 6:20 PM

Wow, thanks for sharing and for being so honest. Cheering you on!

Reply

Amalfi Girl (EatRunHaveFun!) February 15, 2011 at 1:50 PM

I also love the WW core (now “SFT”) plan. And I also lost 35 pounds just to plateau for many months (pre-WW). I’m glad I found your story. Your food pictures are so gorgeous. I’m glad you’re in love and happy in your life. I look forward to following your story!

Reply

Nicole, RD March 10, 2011 at 9:31 AM

I love your story! I can relate! I was not the weight I wanted to be on my wedding day either, but it didn’t get in the way of the most amazing day of my life! Congrats on your successes at the scale!
Nicole, RD´s last [type] ..Slow-Cooker Spicy Buffalo Chicken Sandwiches

Reply

Alexandra March 20, 2011 at 3:08 PM

I like to call the stuck point of weight loss the “comfort zone.” When you (for the most part) eat healthier food in reasonable portions, your body will shed lbs only up to a certain point. Then you have to exercise (ew) or eat even less. I hate exercising! I am at my comfort zone now. If I stopped eating my obligatory treat after dinner almost every night (or at least reducing the amount, even though I don’t eat anything extravagant), or continued to increase the amount of fresh produce and cutting out everything else, I could probably shed ten more lbs without exercising. But it’s soooo hard! I appreciated your story – thank you so much for sharing. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that so many of us struggle with our weight; it seems that a lot of people don’t have to even try. Good luck!
Alexandra´s last [type] ..Tangelo Olive Oil Cake

Reply

Amy March 26, 2011 at 12:29 PM

Thanks for sharing your story, Mara. It is very inspiring and I appreciate it. I too, got into a relationship (now my DH) and we both got very comfortable with eachother and stopped watching what we ate. I can look back and remember thinking that our apartment’s dryer kept shrinking my clothes, everything kept getting so small. Talk about denial.

I wish you the greatest luck and will continue to keep cheering you on. You can do it!

Reply

Rebecca April 13, 2011 at 4:10 PM

Hi Mara! Thank you for sharing your story! I found your blog in sort of a round-about way (looking for a recipe for chocolate chip whoopie pies for my 8yo’s class to use as part of a project on dinosaurs)…but that said, I believe all things happen for a reason. After finding the recipe, I began exploring the blog a bit and discovered this page, and I just have to tell you that you are most definitely NOT the only bride to have gained weight before her wedding!! I know this because I DID TOO! I cried the day I went for my gown fitting and realized it had to be let out TWO WHOLE INCHES!! But you know what? You said what I later learned (and hope that anyone reading will take away)…my weight made not one lick of difference on my wedding day. I wasn’t worried about my weight, how I looked in my dress, or anything else…I was HAPPY! All those little “downer” thoughts never entered my mind because I was marrying my love and that was all that mattered on that day! And come this Sunday, April 17th, we will have been married for 13 years. :o )

That’s not all I wanted to say, though. I also wanted to share that I also know what it’s like to “get comfortable” and let go. My husband and I have both expanded over the years and at times, I’ve topped out at 197 lbs. Earlier this year, I decided I’d had enough of being overweight and unhealthy and joined a fitness challenge program at the local gym. It was a good decision. I’ve been doing things I didn’t even know I could! I haven’t lost much weight, but that wasn’t my primary goal. My goal, which I feel I’ve already met though there are still about 3 weeks left in the challenge, was to get more active again. Now that I’ve accomplished that and am committed to continuing it…I’ve been considering joining Weight Watchers. I’ve already learned a great deal about nutrition and making healthy/healthier choices as part of the challenge. Now it’s time to take those things I’ve already begun putting into practice and give myself some structure and direction for losing weight. I currently weigh 190 lbs. I’d like to weigh 130 lbs. I’m sure that I will get there. And I’m sure that you will reach your goals as well. Good luck!! :o )

Reply

hillary April 21, 2011 at 10:41 PM

mars,

thank you for sharing your story and photos and journey!

i can’t tell you how many ladies i meet who have at some point had food-related issues (which, we all know, are pretty much emotionally related issues). but, i digress. you look amazing and you’re amazing. proud of your blog and celebrate the sweet girl you are <3

xo
hillary
hillary´s last [type] ..class of 82!

Reply

Krystina (Organically Me) May 13, 2011 at 8:10 AM

Hi! I’m a new reader. I just wanted to let you know that you are beautiful. Your approach to health is quite refreshing.

Reply

Gina July 10, 2011 at 2:58 PM

New reader just popping over from Gina’s blog. Your struggle is shared by so many of us. You’re doing awesome though. I try to not look at how far I might have to go but focus on how far I’ve come and look to the future with excitement for what I can accomplish if I stay focused. And by the way…I gained weight between my engagement and wedding too. You always hear of brides getting their dress altered to take it in before their wedding. Mine had to be let out a bit :)

Reply

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