Shrinking Myself

I originally posted my story very early on in my blogging “career”, and after reading dozens more inspiring posts, I made the decision that my story deserves its own page. I’ll update here and there, particularly at weight loss milestones.

I’ve often alluded to the fact that I’m on Weight Watchers and that I’ve lost 50 lbs so far on it… but I thought it was time to really tell you all my story. So many of you have shared your struggles with eating disorders, and it never ceases to amaze me the amount of strength and success you’ve all had… so here goes…

I was born small, 5 lbs 7 ounces to be exact, and I was a full-term healthy baby.

Just days old...

I always loved food, and was always adventurous in my tastes. I can remember being about 7 years old on a road trip and going to a nice restaurant. My sister at 4 ordered macaroni and cheese. I ordered a filet mignon, medium rare, and roasted vegetables. We always got to choose our birthday dinner, and my mom would make whatever it was we chose. For my 8th birthday, what did I choose? Steamed Asian sesame whitefish with sauteed spinach.

I distinctly remember the first time I tried to lose weight: I was 16, weighed 155 and desperately wanted to weigh 140, so I joined Weight Watchers. I lost 6 pounds and got bored. I stayed within the 155-160 range all through high school, and I remember always feeling “HUGE” compared to my friends. Looking back at pictures, I realize I was not “huge” but rather, healthy.

Senior Picture 1998

I went to college at Bradley University, and discovered the wonder that was midnight pizza delivery, $.99 baskets of fried things at the bars, and student discounts at all the local restaurants. Before I knew it, I was 190 lbs and wearing a size 16…

Fast forward… I met Adam December 17, 2004. I was 24, in my 2nd year teaching on the south side of Chicago, and was living in this ridiculously small apartment with a joke of a kitchen. I used that small kitchen as an excuse to eat out for nearly every meal. Adam and I would order in or go out each and every time we’d get together, and soon, our “dates” were from Friday evening until Monday morning. Once I got comfortable in our relationship, about 6 months in, I completely stopped “watching it” when it came to what I ate. Breakfasts were fast food, snacks were McDonalds hamburgers, dinners were stuffed pizzas… A friend sent me pictures from the summer, and while I didn’t like what I saw, I didn’t do anything about it.

Hawaiian Day at camp, 2005

Posing for a group shot, summer 2005

Next thing I knew, students were asking me when I was due, and my family was whispering behind my back. My mom said something to me around January and suggested I do something. It was right around then that I got these pictures back from being in my friend’s wedding.

At the rehearsal dinner

Adam and I at the wedding reception

Fast forward to March, 2006. One of my best friends (the one whose wedding pictures I posted, actually) told me about this new program that Weight Watchers had that didn’t involve counting Points® and I was intrigued. The very next Saturday at 11:30 a.m. I joined and started following the Core plan.

The Monday after joining WW

The weight started melting off once I stopped eating crap and started eating real, wholesome, and healthy foods. I lost my first 50 lbs within 7 months and then got stuck. The 2006-2007 school year was one of the worst years of my life… my grandma got sick and passed away, Adam got laid off due to working in the sub-prime mortgage industry, and then my position at my school got eliminated. I started a new job last fall (2007), and am finally comfortable in my new position. I’m hoping that blogging, job security, and getting married will kick me back into losing weight mode again… Here are some more recent pictures, just to show you all my progress, and to remind myself that, though I’m stuck, I’ve still lost 50 pounds!

Me and my BFF Lizz

At a wedding, Sept. 2007

RIGHT after we got engaged!

With my mom at a Cubs game

With my friend Ericka in Oregon

Our official engagement photo!

With the stress of wedding planning came a pause in the healthy eating. I started going for convenience over nutrition, and I swear I’m the only bride who GAINED weight before her wedding. As of now, I’m about 15 pounds heavier than I was when I started blogging, and about 25 heavier than my recent low. Our wedding was the happiest day of my life, hands down!

My weight had absolutely nothing to do with how wonderful the day was, nor anything with how our married life has been so far! I’m focusing on eating when I’m hungry, stopping when I’m satisfied, and making the right decisions food-wise… if I happen to lose weight in the process, great!