I have a very unhealthy relationship with the scale. VERY unhealthy. Last week, when we went to our Weight Watchers meeting, I got on the scale, and for the 4th week in a row, I had gained weight. I immediately burst into tears, causing the one snotty woman in our meeting to stare (and to get a death-stare from Adam) and make me completely doubt all my efforts. All my healthy dinners had been for nothing. Why even bother? Why should I eat things like baked tofu and sweet potato rounds (besides the deliciousness factor) when I can eat things like burgers and french fries and get the same result? After an hour of teariness, Adam talked some sense into me. Had I been completely honest with myself?
I’d been bad. I’d made bad unhealthy choices. No, I hadn’t walked every day as I should have would’ve been healthy. I’d had chocolate and not counted it. So I re-evaluated. I switched from Point® counting to the no-counting Simply Filling® plan on Weight Watchers for the week, which relies on low-energy density, very filling foods. I counted my extras. I was active when I could be, and drank a whopping 96 oz. of water a day.
I was almost shaking as I got on the scale this morning. Would my efforts, again, be destroyed with a gain? As I stepped off the scale, the receptionist (who knows me well) smiled and said “Good girl!” So then I knew… I’d at least lost .2 lbs. Oh no, I did not lose .2 lb. I lost 1.6 pounds this week!!! Just as quickly as the tears started last week, the giggles and good mood started today. Adam even said “It’s crazy how different your mood is when you lose…I’m not complaining!”
I was giddy all day, and continued my good healthful eating with an egg beater veggie omelette at brunch, and a fantastic steamed Chinese dinner (more on that in a minute!)
I know this is a different kind of post than I normally do, but I wanted to share… I too struggle with my weight, and since I love food, I struggle with labeling “treats” as “bad” and healthy everyday food as “good” or what I “should” have. As my WW leader says
“If you call chocolate cake, or pizza, or creme brulee ‘bad’, you are a liar, because those can never be bad. A Point®-y choice, sure, but never bad! You need to just ask yourself, ‘Is this something I’m willing to gain weight over?’ and if the answer is no, then reassess.”
One of my other WW buddies who has lost nearly 100 lbs has said “Food is just food, it doesn’t need to be an event.” I’m working on keeping that on a loop in my head!
Enough blathering… On to dinner! (Do you know who that little owl is?)
I went and got my nails done today, and when I left, the Chinese place next door must have been roasting 200 lbs. of garlic because it smelled AMAZING! I got home, and instantly told Adam “We’re getting Chinese for dinner.” So we ordered. I got my favorite thing at our place: steamed shrimp and broccoli with brown rice and black bean sauce. 
I love that this place steams things like there’s no tomorrow, and includes dozens of HUGE shrimp. The broccoli is still a little crisp, and the sauce is to DIE for!
The best part though, is the brown rice. It’s perfect, and even better still: I didn’t have to cook it!
It’s still snowing here in Chicago, so we’re going to spend a night in, possibly catch an On-Demand movie and just relax. Sometimes those are the best nights, right?
Have an amazing Saturday night, and don’t forget to change your readers and blogrolls to my new site at http://www.imadedinner.net
xoxo,
Fabulous day and meal!!
Still snowing like crazy here too
VeggieGirl’s last blog post..So, How About Those Trader Joe’s Peanut Butter Pretzels??
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The chinese food looks so yummy! Nothing like good chinese (which I have yet to find here)!
Congrats on the loss this week!
PS-I added you to my blogroll
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I’m so glad the weigh in went so much better today! great news!
and love the dinner! steamed veggies rock (esp when the broccoli is just a little crispy!).
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I cannot bring myself to eat “healthy” chinese food when I get take out. Good thing I don’t get it that often.
Girl, my scale issues are insane. I cut down to only weighing myself once a week to avoid the crazy. It’s hard, but I think one day we will learn to get past the number and focus on how we feel, how our clothes fit (…and blah blah blah lol)
Hallie’s last blog post..I’m a Winner, Baby!
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Good for you Mara! I am on the “holy cow I’m having surgery in 3 days” plan and it’s not pretty. Soon I’ll be laid up and ughhhhh…I’ll just live vicariously through you ok? Keep up the good work and congrats on your domain- Laura
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There is no such thing as bad or good anything, everything is relative- and it is all about the relationship you create around these things which defines it. I am so happy to hear your progress, you have to trust your body to steady itself, and trust in your decisions. I commend you for all that you have accomplished – you are a rockstar in my mind : ) Keep up the good work, your chinese looks great!
-C
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i’m so agree that food is just food, but definitely a very important part of our lives.
love the steamed chinese dinner~~
coco’s last blog post..Not exciting friday!
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congrats mara!
i love black bean sauce! i haven’t had it in a while
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Congrats! That is awesome! Yummy dinner!
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Love my new header – thank you! I think I need to change the link though!
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I am proud of your weight loss and happy you are happy!
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I am so proud of your loss this week! Hang in there and keep up the awesome work!
foodsthatfit’s last blog post..A Few Updates and Product Review: Gracie’s Gear Tank
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ha well done! I like stories with happy endings (and chinese food!)
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Wonderful! Congratulations on your success
And that Chinese food looks amazing! Exactly what I would order, if only our place did brown rice 
Glad you are enjoying your weekend–keep up the positive mindset
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good job on the loss this week!
you are doing great – don’t doubt yourself!
allijag’s last blog post..I am a runner!
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I’m so so so glad you shared this on the blog. It’s hard and frustrating not be “normal” with food, exercise, and weight, isn’t it? I think you’re doing a beautiful job. It IS worth it to stick with your plan and I’m glad you know that. Good for you for getting honest with yourself and adjusting your plan to one that fits your needs. I’m proud of you.
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Yay, congrats! Keep up the good work!
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Congrats, girl! Your efforts are definitely worth it!
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Jon and I went for Chinese food last night, too! You did a MUCH better job at ordering a healthy choice than I did….MUCH BETTER!
Just remember that you won’t lose weight every single time, that’s impossible! Sometimes, you need to gain just so when you do lose….it feels that much better and makes you that much happier. You are doing a great job, Mara! Keep working hard!
-Auntie Fancy
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oh i’m so happy for you!! There are sooo so many emotions tied to food, weight, eating, etc…I think that is one thing we can seriously all relate to…it’s so weird how a seemingly “simple” and “necessary” process like EATING, can draw out such happiness or deep sadness! I’m really happy for your progress and your hub sounds like such a great support (and death stare giver)
I’m adding your new site right now, cool!
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Mara, your site looks fantastic! What made me even happier was seeing how you had crossed out your self-condemnation statements above and instead narrowed your criticism to focus just on your particular behaviors that concerned you. You are a good person! Like all of us, you just have some behaviors you would like to improve.
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I am so glad that this week’s meeting was better!
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LOVE steamed chinese food!
congrats on the weight loss … but more congrats on reassessing your habits and eating style and finding a more effective way for you to go about the whole process while still enjoying life and food! the way we eat is one of those things in endless need of tweaking, and it’s hard to separate the necessity from the emotion … or to know if we should even try. you’re awesome for not giving up!!! as upsetting as it is when you’re faced with a gain, remember that you’re still in the process of moving forward and making progress. it just doesn’t go in a straight line all the time!
Sarah (Tales of Expansion)’s last blog post..The most important meal
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nice blog yummmy!
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Congratulations, Mara. Thank you for sharing this story with us. I loved your openness and honesty with both yourself and your readers. You are so strong and I truly believe that you can accomplish your goals.
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Hey Mara! I am so happy I read this post today. You really do deserve a congratulations. Your honesty and openness are of great help to woman who struggle…and there are just so many out there, its a shame. I am glad you found the motivation to get back on track and are heading in a good direction.
Your awesome, regardless what the scale reads. You’ve got valuable and worthwhile information to share with others and that my deal is something to get giddy and giggle about!
XO, Lee
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Mara @ What's For Dinner? Reply:
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:40 am
Lee, thank you for that! I needed to read YOUR comment today!!
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Oh my god, I can so totally sympathize. I joined WW almost exactly a year ago today, and I was so hungry for a whole week and it was practically unbearable AND THEN I go and weigh in and I had gained two pounds! What the heck, weight watchers!
After that though? Smooth sailing. I’ve exceeded my goal weight by 10 lbs for a total of 50.
You can get to your goal! It’s worth it! How long have you been doing the program?
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Mara @ What's For Dinner? Reply:
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:05 pm
WAY TO GO!!!! I love your site by the way
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